Mark Metherell

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UPDATE: The paddleout in memory of Mark Metherell was held July 4th, 2008. The Laguna Beach Independent created a wonderful slideshow of the event on their homepage: http://www.lagunabeachindependent.com/news/2008/0711/Front_page/0001.html and Viki High added a very nice YouTube video below.

The family has asked that donations in honor of Mark be made to either:
1. Naval Special Warfare Foundation: http://www.nswfoundation.org—This is a fund for the widows and orphans of Navy Special Forces veterans killed while serving their country; or,
2. Growers First: http://www.growersfirst.org—This is an organization that helps rural poor farmers around the world to improve their lives through sustainable development programs.
Please write “In Memory of Mark Metherell” in the comment line if donating online or on the memo line if writing a check.

An impromptu and unofficial memorial service happened April 13 at Little Church by the Sea for Mark, the link is: http://www.lagunachurchbythesea.org/markmetherell/ for those who are interested.

New blog posts are on the main page. Past posts are under subdirectories in the right margin; i.e., “Family,” “Friends,” etc. . . Happy hunting!

Please report any inappropriate posts or comments to . This site is not a place for posting personal political agendas. It is a place to remember Mark Metherell and share memories, thoughts and prayers with his family and friends.

From Sarah Metherell:

I am Mark’s wife, Sarah.  I can’t begin to explain to you how wonderful Mark was as a man, a husband, and a father.  I wouldn’t know where to begin and where to end.  So, I hope you don’t mind, but I am going to read to you some of the letters and other things Mark wrote over the years (he’s a much better writer than I am) and share a few stories.

Right after we were engaged, when I was living in Argentina, and Mark was heading out for a six month deployment with the SEAL Teams, he wrote the following letters.  They show his character and our love and relationship in a way that is more humorous and more meaningful than I could otherwise hope to express.

(Mark’s Letter 7.20.98)
Sarah,

Can infatuation last for two years?  Can a man spend two years thinking of a woman, only to find out that it was simply a fleeting fascination that has disappeared?  Of course not… this is true love, and it doesn’t happen everyday.  Come to think of it, it only happens to a select group – a chosen few – an elite group of lovers gifted by God with each other – molded in the fiery furnace of passion!  Sarah, I have fallen so deeply in love with you over these past two years that I no longer think of myself, but of you.  I want to give you the world… of course, all I’ve got right now is a used snowboard, a really great surfboard, and an old BMW, but hey (!) you get ME.

Dear Sexy,

Today is my last day in paradise.  In fact, I’m flying out in about four hours, so I decided to send you one last Aloha from Hawaii.  The powers that be have changed my schedule once again, and I am now going to Texas, as was originally planned – it would be a nice surprise if people could just stick with a plan. 

Anyway, I am writing to you from a bench under a palm tree in front of an aquamarine bay.  In the distance, steep mountains sit quietly, their sides are ribbed from centuries of rains and erosion, making them appear like cathedrals of vibrant green.  Until a few moments ago all I could hear was the wind blowing through the palm trees, but an endless line of helicopters just showed up making low sweeping turns to land at the airfield on the base.  This has abruptly ruined the illusion that I’m at a resort hotel sitting here awaiting your return from the bar with two margaritas. 

This morning, we received one last kick-in-the-rear from this exercise.  We received gas mask training.  This wonderful evolution consists of donning a gas mask, walking in a room filled with tear gas then… that’s right (!) taking that perfectly good mask off the face and getting lungs filled with sweet, wonderful gas before redonning the mask.  Afterwards, walking outside, my face covered in snot, tears, and drool, I realized that this stuff definitely wakes you up in the morning.  It’s even better than a cup of coffee.  If you took this mentality a bit further, we would have shark attack training where you get bitten by real sharks, or combat training where you are shot in some non-vital area – a leg perhaps.

Our separation is much more painful than getting tear gas in my face.  In fact, gas me every day, just so long as I can come home to you.  Still, I can see that God is at work in the lives of those around us, and that His love is reaching others through us.  This is part of his plan, this separation, because it makes us stronger by both of us coming to Him.  It’s a miracle that we came so far while we were so far away – A Miracle I Tell You!  I love you so much Sarah.  You are the most precious thing God ever made, as far as I’m concerned.  What a wonderful, caring person you are.  Hooray for Sarah!  You’re a right lusty wench too (Big Kiss).
I love you so much,
Mark

More recently, we each had to write an autobiography as part of our adoption application.  Mark wrote the following about our marriage.

Sarah and I have a weird marriage.  We both feel that the honeymoon phase of our relationship has not gone away (we’ve been married for almost 8 years). And we don’t believe that it needs to go away.  Perhaps it is because I travel and we therefore value time spent together, and therefore we don’t take each other for granted. We definitely have differences of opinion, but it is through compromise that these differences are settled.  I learned very early in our relationship that if Sarah was sad then I was miserable, so I try to listen and to be empathetic to Sarah. 

Our relationship took on a whole new dimension when Cora came along.  Mark loved babies, but I was having a hard time thinking of what to say about Mark as Cora’s daddy, so my sister asked, “Well… what pops to mind?” “He wouldn’t let me have her!” I replied.  Mark got so excited every time he heard Cora waking up from a nap.  As soon as she peeped, he would ask (rubbing his hands together) “Can I go get her?  Please.  Please.”

Since I’m mean in the morning (something Mark told me soon after we were married), Mark would get Cora in the morning and I would put her to bed at night.  He was trying to let me sleep in, but he and Cora would be downstairs making such a rukus laughing and gurgling, that I always ended up wanting to get up and join in the fun.  He put her to the task from the time she was about two weeks old with baby push-up sessions and a few months later, moved on to crawling.  I came down one morning to find her in the crawl position, and he was moving her right arm and leg forward, and then her left arm and leg forward.  He didn’t realize that that’s how a horse walks, but not how a baby crawls.  If he had had the chance to teach her to swim, I’m sure it would have been much more technically correct. 

In the adoption application we filled out more recently for baby #2, Mark wrote this:
“We were able to adopt Cora as a newborn, and God has blessed us with a healthy, happy baby who is a real joy.  And she is SO good!!! I know that it is not supposed to be so easy.  Cora has a very funny personality … very precocious, and fun.  We can’t wait for her to have a brother or sister.”

Later in that same application, Mark wrote:

My strongest influence is Jesus Christ.  He is my touchstone and it is from Him that I gain strength.  While my job is fairly dangerous, I truly believe that God wants me out there.  He is the one who protects me, and challenges me to quietly show God’s love.  It’s a funny thing, I tend to talk about my faith more with Muslims then with other Americans that I work with.  I think that it is a parallel that we have, our faith in God that bridges a fairly substantial gap in our cultures. 

To summarize (if such a thing is possible) the kind of husband and man Mark was, following is the inscription he wrote to me in his favorite book, Refiner’s Fire.

Sarah,

This is one of my favorite novels.  It is the story of a life full of adventure and magic, of someone who takes risks.  Someone like you.  I pray continuously that God will be with you as you take those risks and that He will be at the center of our love.  My prayer is that I will never hold you back, to let you grow, spur you on to reach any dreams you have, and to give millions of passionate kisses to you for the rest of our lives. 

I love you – Mark

When Mark’s good friend from work came to tell me about Mark’s death, he gave me a coin.  The coin has a cross on one side, and on the other side says “Fear Not” A few days later, I came across a return address label on a note from a friend.  The label read, “Fear not, for I am with you.” In reading through some of Mark’s letters, I found the following letter that I will leave you with.  At the top, the letter quotes Isaiah 41:10.

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Dear Sarah,

I read this verse tonight and thought of you in a new country alone, and I realized that you are not really alone.  You have a friend and protector.  “Do not fear, Mark,” He is saying, “for I am with Sarah.” That is his promise to both of us, and it makes me feel a lot better when I think of you alone… with God sitting with you.

From Alex Metherell:

I have been thinking about what a privilege if has been for us to have been the parents of such an outstanding young man.  As I look back I have come to realize some amazing things about Mark.

For example, I cannot recall a single time when he lost his temper. - - Well there was the time when he was about 4 when Auntie Dee-Dee gave him a 2 wheel bike.  Upon trying to ride it for the first time he fell off and said to his mom “Give it to the Salvation Army.”

He never showed any fear - - not even the time when he was 5 and Alison was 3 in Miami and I was in Medical School.  They had just gone to bed and I crept in with a human skull and a flashlight shining inside while making moaning noises.  Alison screamed in terror and 5 year old Mark just laughed his head off.  - - Of course, I got properly scolded by Pam.

This fearlessness served him well when he became a SEAL.  When faced with a tense dangerous situation he would become very calm and controlled.

One such situation was when his SEAL team was deployed to Kodiak, Alaska in winter. He was out in a small open boat – a RIB I think it was – when the outboard motor quit.  There was another SEAL with him, along with a visiting Admiral who came along for the ride.  The seas were pretty rough and the boat was drifting towards some nasty rocks.  The Admiral started freaking out while Mark calmly figured out how to get the engine restarted and they got safely out of there.

This fearlessness and a lack of a temper gave him a unique ability to defuse a tense situation.  When faced with hostility his amazing gift with words would calm everyone down immediately.

Mark loved people, especially children.  With kids he would make funny faces, tickle them and, in effect, become like one of them.  He was like a “Pied-Piper.” Children would flock to him because he was so much fun.

His people skills were unsurpassed.  Even with people who spoke an unfamiliar language, he could communicate immediately.  No one was afraid of him.  These personal traits and characteristics qualified him uniquely for the job he was assigned to, most recently.

He never really told us much about what he did or where he went.  He did not want or need any recognition for his work.  He just loved doing it and told us this was his dream job.

A couple of years ago, when he came back from one of his deployments, he told us a little bit about how he was living.  The people he was with, were among remote feudal tribes in a region close to Pakistan.  These tribesmen don’t even trust people from neighboring tribes, let alone a foreigner.  He not only made friends with them – they welcomed him in as a brother – so much so, that he was invited to be part of a wedding.  This is unheard of for a foreigner.

Such were his people skills.  I can just see him growing a beard, playing with their children and winning the minds and hearts of the people.

His most recent mission was serving as a Special Advisor training Iraqi Special Forces.  These brave Iraqis were made up of the sects who for generations have been killing one another, but these Iraqi patriots set aside those differences – no doubt with the help of Mark – to serve a more noble cause.

Mark and 7 Iraqis, who were the best-of-the-best of their Special Forces, were killed by a massive IED that destroyed the lead vehicle in which they were riding in the early hours of April 11 on the outskirts of Baghdad. We are not surprised that Mark was in the lead vehicle.

I feel confident that out of that blood soaked soil will grow a stable, peaceful, free Iraq with a government OF the people, BY the people and FOR the people, with complete freedom of religion and expression.

When this happens they may look back and count those 7 patriotic Iraqis among the Founding Fathers of their reborn nation. They will, hopefully remember Mark Metherell as a patriotic American hero who stood by their side.

Mark was the ultimate peacemaker.

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount—“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.”

From Pam Metherell:

Alex and I named our first born child Mark for three reasons:

1. Because it was Biblical
2. Because it sounded great with Metherell
3. Because it meant “Warrior”

Occasionally over the past years since he graduated from Wheaton College and entered the Navy SEAL program I have thought maybe a “wimpier” name would have been safer but it would not have fit.
First and foremost Mark was a GODLY son who loved Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior since being introduced to Him at 4 or 5 by his best friend Scott Crowell who told him he would go to hell when he died if he did not pray to have Jesus in his heart and he immediately prayed to do so. Two little blonde kids sharing the most important lesson in life.

Actually it was Mark that brought our entire family to a saving knowledge of Christ. Although Alex and I had not been attending church, we had wanted to have Mark baptized when my parents were visiting from Scotland in the summer of 1969, and as we had been married in a Presbyterian church in Scotland, we looked in the yellow pages to find a Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach.
The first one only did baptisms at certain times of the year but Charles Dierenfield said he would be happy to have a private ceremony in the chapel at St Andrews. Because of his graciousness we started attending church there and were invited to join the Ensigns the young couples group which had monthly speakers.

At one such meeting Chuck Missler spoke and gave a statistical analysis on how one man, Jesus Christ, fulfilled over 300 Old Testament prophecies. Alex as a scientist computed the numbers in his head and became a Jesus “freak” on the spot.

I liked the transformation and would accompany him to Bible studies. At one such study in Huntington Beach the teacher was explaining the meaning of “original sin” and pointed to a newborn baby girl in her mother’s arms at the back of the room. “If that baby girl needs Christ in her life because of original sin, what about those of you who are older?” I surrendered my life to Christ that night and that baby girl grew up ------ became a Christian --and married my son Mark.

Alison, Mark’s sister, became a believer as a little 4 year old at the neighborhood Good News Club where they gave out doughnuts to those who asked Jesus into their hearts. The teacher explained that she could only do it once!

Caroline, Mark’s other sister, became a Christian as a 3 year old when she was scared on learning that I was having some minor surgery and I told her that I had Jesus in my heart to take care of me and she wanted Him in her heart to take care of her too.

Mark was a LOVING son who loved his sweet wife Sarah passionately. After first meeting her he told me “she is the most awesome woman I have ever met”.  A friend writing on his website expressed it
perfectly, “only the brightest gem would do for Mark. The gem that fit so tightly into the nooks and crannies of Mark, that joined together they became the brightest star”.

He was a PRECIOUS son who adored his baby Cora because “brown babies are so much cuter and isn’t she just the cutest! He said recently “the only problem is she makes Sarah and I look so pasty. We are going to have to spend a lot of time at the beach”. On his blog he wrote to a friend who is considering adoption, “We love Cora so much. She is much cooler than anything we could have produced. Brown is so much more interesting than pasty-pale.”

He was a NOBLE son who loved and respected his parents and was loved and respected in return.

He was a LOYAL son who loved and protected his two sisters Alison and Caroline who were born 2 years and 7 years after him and was so proud of them and their accomplishments.

He was a COMPASSIONATE son who loved my mother, his 97 year old Nana, and wanted Cora to call her “Super Nana”. He played kings in the corner with her whenever he was home and always allowed her to win because she was “so small and so cute!” Dave, a good friend, is taking over that assignment in Mark’s place.

He was a CARING son who loved my sister Wendy whom as a baby he always called “Dee Dee” and still did whenever he saw her.

He was a KIND-HEARTED son who loved my late Dad, his Grandpa whom he described when he was a little boy, as “the wisest man in the whole wide world -----– except of course for Dad.

He was a GRACIOUS son who loved Sarah’s parents Gail and Peter and the rest of her family so much that Alison and Caroline were concerned that he had become more of an Ochs than a Metherell ------ and he almost had, enabling us to become one extended family.

He was a CORAGEOUS son who loved growing up at the beach where he could monitor surf conditions from his bed, and would dive in to join dolphins and whales that he spotted swimming in the bay. On Monday, there were hundreds of dolphins leaping and somersaulting in the surf.

His burial plot at the Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery is on a bluff overlooking the ocean across to Coronado, where he will be buried with full military honors. What a perfect spot for a Navy SEAL and a California surfer dude!

He was an HONORABLE son who loved his Cottage-style home on Brooks Street in Laguna surrounded by some of his best friends.  That same street where American flags, at half mast, waved in the breeze under brilliant blue skies all week, and where on Friday evening a week ago, under a bright moon and sparkling stars, candles were lit, and Amazing Grace was sung, in his memory.

He was a PATRIOTIC son who loved his country and his “dream job” which took him all over the world on secret missions and amazing adventures, and we are now just learning of the many lives he has saved, both physically and spiritually. A friend wrote that “he was an ambassador for freedom in every sense of the word”.

He said that if anything happened to him “he would be on the most exciting adventure of his life”, which he is on today, making Heaven more inviting to those in our family who are left behind.

His last words to us on the day before he died were “I love you both.” “I am fine.” “Don’t worry.” He IS fine and we don’t have to worry any more. In closing----one of his favorite books-- and oh, how he loved to read ---- was written by Stu Weber a fellow alum. from Wheaton College, also in the Special Forces. The title of his book sums up Mark perfectly in 2 words ------ Tender Warrior. 

Mark “you have fought the good fight, finished the race and kept the faith. Well done, good and faithful servant”.

I knew Mark briefly yet liked him immensely. I don’t have a lot of cool stories to share like those who had a history with Mark. I can say he was generous with his time and fully present as if you were the only person there with him. So he was with me. Having been a Seal brought great admiration with the accomplishment and the adventure and the service, yet his gentle spirit and enthusiastic interest, almost like a child at Christmas, made him accessible as a human being, and even more admirable. It was apparent that he was the kind of man who would give you the shirt off his back if you were in need. Being around Mark and Sarah left me feeling like things were good in this world. They are both like that. How could I not love them? One night I dropped by the home on Brooks Street to hand off a CD of photos I had taken for them of their home, I caught them in the middle of prepping dinner. I was very apologetic about that and was quick to hand off the disc and leave, but they were insistent that I come in and share their dinner. They gave me one of the two steaks and split the other. I remember leaving their home that night thinking I had been blessed by God to know such loving people. It wasn’t just that they fed me, but it was evident in their being. And what is so extraordinary about them is that they are both so unassuming and down to earth. Given Mark’s elite status and world experience / knowledge, you would never know he wasn’t just your buddy. Aside from talking at church and on occasion at the Beach where he and Dave Vanderveen would be surfing, I wish I had known Mark better. I always enjoyed our conversation. He is a great model for a man; strong, gentle, humble, kind, and comfortable in his own skin - a light in this world. My prayers are with Sarah and Cora, Mark’s parents and sisters, and Mark’s closest friends and extended family.

I feel privileged to have been allowed to photo-document Saturday April 19th, both the Memorial Service at Mariner’s Church and the afternoon tribute on Brooks Street. Here is the link to the photos from the Memorial: http://www.lefever.com/wMemorial/ A beauiful and moving service. And here is the link to the photos taken of the Brooks Street Tribute: http://www.lefever.com/wBrooks/

A slide show was also made from some of the Brooks Street photos. David Burchi suggested the music saying that the song was one that Mark liked a lot. It is embedded below.

All in all I can say; “what a life Mark led” and that it is a great testimony in seeing the lives he touched in just being himself. Who he was, as a human being, is evident in the love that pours from his friends and his influence, both reminisced and since emboldened to others in reflection of his life. His friends, in their love, honor Mark’s life and inspire us all as lights that reflect Christ’s love. This is the great gift to everyone, of a life well lived. To Mark, you are missed, may Heaven be your greatest adventure.

Jeff L.

<div><iframe style="border: medium none ; background-color:000000;"src="http://www.lefever.com/BrooksSt_MarkM_Tribute/iframe.html" title="Showit Web Slideshow” frameborder="0" height="600" width="420" scrolling="no"></iframe></div>

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Peter:
We are Sarah’s parents. We are Mark’s in-laws. I am the father of daughters, but being a male I know how the male mind works. As a consequence, as our girls were growing up my natural tendencies were suspicion, aggressive protection and being somewhat difficult to deal with when boys came around. As the girls moved through their teen years, however, Gail and I began to pray regularly for their future husbands. We prayed just two things: first, that the right man would love God with all his heart, and second, that he would love our daughter in the way she needed to be loved. Sarah and Mark’s early courtship had both passion and tumult. Sarah was living in South America and we were never quite sure where Mark was. I said to Gail, “The guy who gets Sarah is going to have to pursue her. It won’t necessarily be easy.” Mark on his own figured this out, and he did it superbly. As they moved into marriage, we saw how wonderfully suited they were for each other. And yet, true love does not precede marriage, it grows within marriage.

Gail:
In an email that I sent to our friends around the world I wrote, “Sarah and Mark were married in 1999. Their marriage was one of joy, adventure, giving and serving in their church and around the world, and of love for family.” In marriage a husband and a wife should bring out the best in each other, not competing, not trying to change one another, but complimenting and edifying one another. Mark and Sarah exemplified this. Three words came to me as I thought of their relationship, and especially of Mark’s for you Sarah – adoration, affection and passion. In Proverbs 31 it says, “…her husband praises her.” And Mark regularly said, “Isn’t she beautiful; isn’t she the greatest?” He loved you as himself and he served you in every way that you needed. He adored you. Before they were married when Mark was being very affectionate and was excited to have Sarah as his wife, I would say, “Mark, don’t let this physical affection disappear after you’re married,” so occasionally after they were married, Mark would just throw Sarah back and kiss her and he’d say, “Gail, note this.” He had no difficulty being affectionate with Sarah and with all of us. And then passion – Mark was a passionate man in what he believed, in how he served and in how he loved his wife. Sarah has been loved as few women are by a godly, passionate, strong man.

Peter:
We men aren’t just to love our wives, we are to nourish and cherish them. It’s love that has power, depth, it’s got meat on the bones, it works in the realities of life, and Mark came to know this and to do it. A few years ago Mark and one of the other guys and I were talking, and we were talking about the challenging issue of how to really do love with your wife in the day to day of life. Mark said, it’s easy, I just asked Sarah what household job she least likes to do. She said, “Cleaning the bathrooms,” so I said, “From now on, I’ll clean the bathrooms.” Well, we were pretty impressed by that, and a little bit cowed, so we said, “What if she doesn’t like your work, the quality control part of this?” That’s where we always get in trouble as guys. He said, “Easy still. I just ask her to inspect it afterward when I’m done. If it doesn’t pass, I do it again.” And that captured Mark. Servant lover of his wife, committed without reservation and at the same time a model to me and to his brothers-in-law. Mark was a perfect answer to our prayers along with our other three sons-in-law. We guys have seen ourselves as a team together, and so I’ve lost a son-in-law and also a teammate in the strengthening and deepening of the life of our family. But in the midst of the overwhelming intensity of grieving, I feel Mark in his great way has said to me, “It’s okay Peter, you’ll do fine, and in the span of eternity the time until we’re together again will be really short.” Mark could not have lived better; he could not have loved better, both God and Sarah. I’m experiencing grieving at an intensity I’ve never experienced before, and yet I understand all of Mark and Sarah’s choices in life. C.S. Lewis in grieving over the death of his beloved wife Joy to cancer said it better than I ever could, “Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore, only the life I have lived. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”

I only knew Mark Metherell briefly, but after I knew that I had met someone who had touched, enriched, and blessed my life in an ongoing way.  I met Mark on the Wheaton-in-England trip from Wheaton College in the summer of 1990, a trip on which Mark and some of his friends participated.  I have bits-and-pieces of memory, one of which includes ending our punting on the River Cam in Cambridge for a stop at a pub for “liquid lunch,” which I assumed to be some type of slim-fast drink.  Imagine my chagrin, as the daughter of a prof., when the liquid lunch turned out to be....(alcoholic drink of choice).  Wheaton had a pledge we all signed to eschew such liquid lunches during our enrollment, except in the case of partaking of Communion.  As I look back I imagine that Mark got quite a charge out of my naivete, and am glad this moment was among his experiences, big brother that he was.  At the time I was put out, then embarrassed, and then serenely glad that I had not known before-hand where we were going, and had no need to wrestle with my seventeen-year-old conscience on this matter.  I look on this as God protecting my afore-mentioned seventeen-year-old conscience, but as I think of this memory from the point of view of today, and read these stories on this weblog, I also think that Mark and his friends, having decided they were going to have a beer for lunch, protected my sheltered innocence by teasing me in this way, and I am sure his sisters could tell many other stories of the kind of brotherly kindness he always displayed.  Of course the same cannot be said of the time, later the same day, when Mark had to have a smoke, but we’ll leave that memory in the land of learning to understand one another better, California and Wheaton....

As amusing as this is, the main episode I wish to relate came a semester later, when Mark commandeered me and my poetry and asked to see what I had written, Everything--all of it.  We met at “the House,” in which many lived and which has now been condemned, alas.  I can only remember his delight in and excitement about my faith--he loved the poems (not so great though they were) and constantly praised the vision behind them, or faith as he called it.  I went away catapulted into a kind of hope in and trust of the reality of Christ in me, the hope of glory, and am forever grateful that God sent the kind of man who could fan the spark that He had already placed within me: of hope in Jesus, the belief and understanding that Jesus in me was worth holding onto and living out, and that whatever the outward expression, the faith in Christ was very real.  I am glad he sent the kind of man who was able to speak this into my life at a very vulnerable, needy point in my life.  I get the picture that Mark did this for a lot of folks--catalyst of faith and hope, and an encourager like Barnabas.  Of course other people came along after that to encourage me at various points, but as I remember Mark I am aware of what an outstanding person he was in this area.

I hope that this encourages Sarah and her daughter: that as she hears stories about her Daddy, and however little she remembers his life with her, she will know that both her Heavenly Father, and her earthly father, had the unconditional kind of love that calls us out of ourselves to live a life of faith and joy worthy of Christ; and that she can experience and rest in the fact that this is the kind of Dad she indeed was given in God’s love and mercy; and that as a result she thrives and basks in the great love of Jesus.  We prayed for Mark, though he never knew this, and I hope that as much as God heard and answered our prayers--wonderful witness, father, husband, and so supremely happy in his life--that the Lord will likewise allow us to pray and commit to holding these dear ones that Mark was father and husband to in our prayers from here on out.  I am blessed and amazed by the love Mark obviously had for you, Sarah--few people achieve this level of in-love-ness that you seem to have had for eight solid years--God be praised for your life as a marriage.  You are truly blessed, and I am glad to have learned of this joy.  My husband and I would like to learn from and reflect a little of this more real love than we had done before.

I also want to add that the bird’s-eye view of the Metherell family gleaned from this website has been inspiring and provocative to us as we think about our own marriage and family.  I want to become the kind of parents that Mark’s parents are; in particular as a mom, I pray that I am half the mom Mrs. Metherell seems to be--able to both nurture in Christ and to let go into His hand--a truly God-inspired and dynamic process.  May God bless you as you miss your boy. 

To all the Wheaties out there reading this, some of whom I know, others not, we continue to pray for and be encouraged by (and encourage you, too) in our lives--God is close to the broken-hearted and saves the contrite in spirit, and we are blessed to read your humility of heart.  God be with you as well.

“Come then, angel band--
come and around me stand--
Bear me away on the snow-white wings,
to my eternal Home.”
--Johnny Cash

Angel Band (for Emilie Rose, Mark Metherell)

Winging free into the golden edge of morn
the wing-free arc returns the praise.

Sheer weight of glory
lifts the darkness out.

Lifts the praise-soar
return-after-return sky,
Rebuts the dawn-drawn
utter-obedience angel message
with Word-fire.

Margaret Ryken Beaird

As Mark’s swim coach at Wheaton I remember him very vividly.  He certainly looked to me like a California native when he joined the team in his freshman year.  Mark did not have much experience as a competitive swimmer in high school.  However, as a California kid, his love of surfing had prepared him very well for this new competitive venture and he improved very dramatically in his only year on the Wheaton swim team.  Mark became quite a versatile freestyler that year, recording a 49.76 relay split in the sprint 100 free as well as logging a 5:09.84 in the 500 distance.  He scored for Wheaton at the Conference championships that season in both the 50 and 100 Freestyles as well as the 100 Fly.  Had he continued in the sport at Wheaton, I have no doubt that he would have been a national qualifier at some point in time.

I considered Mark to be a very spirited team member as a frosh and am glad to see from reading his blog that his spirit continued to be a defining characteristic of his life and that he represented Christ in his life.

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By Jeff LeFever

http://www.lefever.com/BrooksSt_MarkM_Tribute/

My name is Joe Ueberroth and Mark Metherell is a special friend of mine. We met when we were kids playing at the beach and we have been friends ever since.  I rarely ever called Mark, Mark – it was either brother or Marcus so if I use these names for Mark as I stand here with you, please understand.  I start with the statement that “He is the only real action hero I know”.  However, Marcus is also much more than that - He is a devoted husband, a loving father, a respectful son, a leader in his church and a friend without conditions.

In life Marcus had an idol and it never changed.  It was the same at five, at fifteen, at twenty five, and at thirty five.  So appropriately, it was his father, Alex.  Alex, I can’t express in word what you meant to your son, but simply said, you are his hero.  Pam and Alex – It is difficult for sons to express their appreciation for their parents.  There was never a day that I know of that your son did not feel blessed to have such loving, giving and supportive parents.  His gratitude to you as parents I can not put into words.  You were his role model in faith, marriage, family, and life.

A little over a week ago in a distant land, in an instant, in a flash, all of our lives have changed - I thought that I would take this opportunity to give you a little bit of the Marcus that I remember so well – the boy

I have known Marcus for over 30 years – at his core four qualities never wavered: his faith, his kindness, his loyalty, and an unrelenting call for adventure. When we were 14 years old we left home to live on the mesa a place called Cate School.  Pam, please do not take offense, but dressing my brother in those cute checkered button down shirts and white wool sweaters did not meet the standards for assimilation into a boarding school that celebrated Bob Marley, U2 and the Grateful Dead. 

The beginning of Cate was difficult for Mark, it is now hard to reconcile that he was shy, awkward, and overly sensitive.  But our time at Cate was an extraordinary, magical period of time when we transformed from silly boys, tested our boundaries, spread our wings, and defined our character.  I stand here with total conviction when I say that Mark’s transformation exceeded all others.  In our freshman year threats loomed around every corner from upper classmen and almost anything we did tested a boundary or broke a rule.  We no longer had that protective vale that parents so givingly provide, so we had to band together to survive. We just didn’t survive, we thrived. It provided the perfect environment for Mark to begin to define himself, and begin to answer that unrelenting call with in him for adventure.

Imagine Mark in a small room planning his next adventure, then at night in the shadows of buildings make his way across campus to some objective.  To this day when I hear a knock on a window or a side door, I know its Mark.  At the house I live at today Mark would arrive some nights not at the front door, not at the back door, but at a small side door in our small court yard where he knew he would find me either working or watching TV.  I recall in our junior year that Mark came down the hall of our dorm around midnight in clothes soaking wet.  I asked him what happened, knowing that we would be planning our revenge on who ever had doused him.  To my surprise he said he had just taken a swim in the school pool – after a pause I asked him Why would you take the risk of going across the entire campus and swim in the pool in your clothes and then be soaking wet and cold and have to manage your way back undetected.  He answered smiling, “It had not been done.”

I can’t recall the defining moment of transformation – it was the aggregation of the bonds he built and adventures he had.  I could go on for days describing such things as his the impact of his bird like dance, discuss the spirituality of dipping, our run in with a biker gang, his adventure in Mexico, the serenity of dawn patrol, being boys of summer, and the impact of late night chats. They are all pieces of the mosaic. A reflection of this mosaic was seen in water polo pool - we all swam with vigor, Marcus just reached a little further, pulled a litter harder, and glided a little farther.

Mark began to find his identity at Cate but his growth never stopped. He continued to march forward in leaps and bounds. Wheaton, the Seals, and his Contract work are such great periods of his life, but his legacy is his partnership, devotion and love for Sarah and now their daughter Cora.  As some of you know Mark asked me to be his best man in his wedding.  The afternoon before his rehearsal dinner he asked that we take the “baptismal” swim in our home waters of Emerald Bay.  As my body was turning numb and blue in the 56 degree water Mark rattled on and on and on with such excitement about this adventure of all adventures of being one with Sarah…I remember nodding vigorously preying that he would indicate that it was time to exit the water…as fate would have it the last time that Mark and I had one of our deep talks was late at night at my house a while ago.  Some how that baptismal swim came up in our conversation and we laughed with the same freedom that we did when we were boys at Cate, then my brother leaned over to me with that great grin and said brother being with Sarah is far better than I ever dreamed.

I am going to end my comments with a short poem that I wrote last night – Mark showed me what’s good, what matters, what really counts, comes from inside so I titled this short poem -

“It comes from within”

Take the path on the left, the trail on the right or the route within the sea
His grin says it all, as long as you move forward any choice is fine with he
Go far, go deep embrace the mysteries and strip the lies
Adventure resides in distant lands, your next door neighbor, and in every child’s eyes

Ribbons and medals are for boxes and prefer the drink from the carpenter’s cup
Don’t tire in your faith just get on your knees and look up
Adventure is not defined by the rocks under your feet or the currents that pull
It’s the ability to see and embrace Gods gifts to us that makes us full

The heroics and deeds are post signs that are gladly left on the trail
It’s the joy that we see and touch in each individual that sets the sail
Walk in the light of our lord and acknowledge your sin
The light shines brightly for each of us for it comes from within

I know that I will never have another friend like Marcus

Thank you

We have heard and will continue to hear stories about how Mark affected people’s lives.  What we would like to do is talk a little about the three main people in Mark’s life who helped him become the person that he was able to be. 

It devastates me to see the grief my parents are experiencing right now at the loss of their son.  Earlier this week while my mother and I were rummaging through papers I noticed after a while that she was silent.  I went over to see that she found Mark’s birth certificate, and she softly told me that he had to be transported to Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, for treatment of newborn jaundice.  I saw my father this past Wednesday standing with his hand on Mark’s flag-draped coffin, quietly welcoming him back for the last time, telling Mark how proud he was of his son, and saying good bye.  No parent should have to experience the loss of one of their children. 
I want to thank our government, the US. Military and the men of SEAL team 5 who brought my brother home to us from Iraq.  The pains they took to bring him home, and the care and honor they gave him was very much appreciated.  I hadn’t expected to feel the urgency and importance I would have to have his body brought back to the US and laid to rest in San Diego.
If Mark were here today, I believe he would give all of us this piece of advice:  If you are a grandson, or a granddaughter: spend time with your grandparents. If you are a son, if you are a daughter: honor your parents and follow their direction.  If you are a parent daily make choices that are in the best interest of your child.  Spend quality time with them, listen to them, teach them.  Give them unconditional love, a consistent environment, and healthy boundaries.
Now. The most important person in Mark’s adult like is his wife, Sarah.  Sara Ochs and I had known each other when we were young, however, since I went to Cate boarding school and Sarah and I attended different universities, over time we lost touch with each other.  That is, until we met again about 11 or 12 years ago.  I was instantly impressed with Sarah’s exciting adventures, and immediately thought that I would like to set up my brother, Mark with Sarah.  Initially, he was mad that he had been “set up” on a “date” which included our entire family, including my grandmother.  He proceeded to talk to only my grandmother that evening, ignoring Sarah.  Later that night, however, he overheard Sarah telling someone else of her travel to far off lands and jumping out of airplanes, and the stories piqued his interest in her.  That was the start of a beautiful love affair. 
Mark and Sarah complimented each other perfectly. To see the twinkle in Mark’s eye when he would talk about Sarah made me happy.  He was so proud to have such a hot wife.  He talked her into wearing the sexy German beer wench costume – which had a very short skirt – for this past Halloween. 
We are so grateful to Sarah for loving our brother so perfectly. She helped him deal with his shortcomings.  Sarah started their family tradition of holding a weekly family meeting to go over the short- mid- and long-term goals they had for their family, and what they could do better to reach those goals. Sarah knew that Mark really loved this life he had chosen, and she selflessly allowed him to live his dream, even to the point of helping to sew his guilly suit that he had to wear to blend in to surroundings while he was going to sniper school. Being the wife of a Navy SEAL as you can imagine is very stressful.  Sarah had to endure long periods of time when Mark was overseas on some mission, always having in the back of her mind that he may not return home.  Sarah has now lost the love of her life.  She is going to be feeling the pain and the loss for a long time.  Fortunately, she has their daughter, Cora as a comfort and a blessing.  I encourage everyone as the months pass to keep Sarah and Cora in your thoughts and take good care of them. 

My mom was cherished by my big brother Mark.  He used to say that Pam Metherell might be small, but boy is she mighty (and practically perfect in everyway)!  My mom in turn cherished her only son with that all encompassing almost painful love that you only know once you become a parent.  Some of my fondest memories of my big brother was watching him grab mom in the kitchen early in morning while she was still in her long, pink flannel nightgown and he inevitably was in his khaki shorts and holey surf t-shirt and spin her around the floor like they were at the wildest ball ever.  Then with his crooked eyebrow raised - and that ever present twinkle in his eye he would ask me for the honor of a dance and then my sister and if we were really lucky - even my dad.  My mom loves Mark so much that when she realized he was intent on joining the seal teams, she stopped trying to convince him otherwise and wholeheartedly supported him - even when behind her cool demeanor I know her heart was fearful.  I remember she even drove down to Coronado to pick Mark up after he had completed Hell Week and when I say “picked Mark up”, I mean it literally.  He was in congestive heart failure, after a week of little to no sleep and constant training he wasn’t able to walk by himself and she had to almost carry him into the car.  She took him home, ran a bath for him so he could actually get his clothes off of his body and took care of him like she had done so many times before.  She loves her boy and he truly loved his mom.

In the last week we have been hearing about how so many people wanted to be like Mark Metherell when they grew up but whenever I hear that I can’t but help think that Mark Metherell wanted to be like Alex Metherell when he grew up.  You see our dad made the decision a long time ago that no child of his was going to live in a home like he had lived in.  Dad grew up in household filled with a lot of heartache, but he made the decision early that he was going to love and serve his wife and his children.  Take one glance at my big brother and you will know that he has followed dad’s lead and made the same choice.  If you talk with my dad about Mark you can’t but help to see the incredible pride he has for his son it almost oozes out of his eyes and is evident in the smile that comes to his lips when he says his son’s name.  Whenever Mark talked about Cora he had that same pride oozing from his eyes and that same smile on his lips whenever he said his daughter’s name.  I remember Sarah saying this last Christmas that she couldn’t believe how much alike Mark and his dad where becoming.  I am not sure who felt more complemented by her comment Mark or my dad.  Thank you mom and dad for raising Mark intentionally the way you did and for allowing Mark to become the man that God wanted him to be.

I remember once on a family vacation in Hawaii sitting at night on the shoreline with my mom and dad watching Mark and a friend prepare to go night diving.  He had his wet suit on and he cracked one of those glow sticks usually reserved for Halloween and attach it to his mask.  He then without hesitation jumped in the water and was off.  We sat on the banks for a really long time and watched as his light got further and further away.  Mom and dad started to get a little nervous but I was oddly comforted by his light knowing that if I could see his light I knew he was still OK. 

Well, big brother I still can see your light whenever I see the look of love mom has in her eyes when she looks at a picture of you or when I see the look of pride on dad’s face when he is telling a story of all your bravery or when I hear a story about one of the countless ways you made your friends laugh or when I see Sarah loving care for your sweet Cora – it is then that I know you are OK.  Even though it is excruciatingly painful to re-imagine my life without you in it and maybe there won’t be any more dances around the kitchen floor or crushing bear hugs in which I wonder if you are ever going to let me go - I know you will be the first one in line to greet me when it is my turn to meet my Jesus face to face.  We promise to tell your stories to Cora as she grows so that she knows just what a truly incredible, kind and brave man her daddy was.  We promise to hold Sarah in our arms when we know her heart is bursting from missing you.  We promise to spin our moms around the kitchen floor and spend time deep in conversation with our dads.  We promise never to forget you and the many ways in which you have touched our lives.  But most importantly we promise to live our lives completely true to who we are and in a way that would bring glory and honor to our Lord Jesus Christ.  Mark you were my hero long before you joined the service and you forever will be my hero not because of what you did during your life but because of who you became.  We will miss you, big brother.

Love you!
Monster

My brother Mark will be missed by many.

He was an ex-Navy SEAL who was working as a special consultant in support of our government. His work over the there was very important. I’m sure we will never know the full extent of his service to our country.

He was with 7 other Iraqi Special Forces soldiers when their vehicle drove over an IED which exploded in the early morning hours of April 11, local time. They were just outside Sadar City.

Seven of the passengers, including Mark, were killed immediately, and the 8th is not expected to live. My thoughts and prayers go out for these other men and their families as they died in service to their country.

I couldn’t ask for a better brother than Mark. He was a devoted son to our parents and loving father to his beautiful 1 year old daughter, Cora. Cora made his wonderful marriage into a complete family. She has been a blessing to everyone around her.

His wife, Sarah, was the joy, light and love of his life. It always made me smile every time I saw the twinkle in his eye when he was thinking about Sarah. It was hilarious to see the skanky German beer wench costume he got for her this past Halloween - a dress with a VERY short skirt, petticoat and pigtails! She looked great in it too!

I am grateful to Sarah for being such an incredibly supportive wife to my brother - not an easy thing to do surely with his adventuresome wanderlust. My heart goes out to her in her time of tragic loss.

He was kind and generous as evidenced by his many friends. He and Sarah are active members of the coolest little surfer church in Laguna - aptly called “The Little Church by the Sea”. Mark died doing what he loved. I am happy he led such a vibrant and rich life full of wonderful things.

Sitting here at night, when all our friends have gone away, my parents and I have time to reflect a little on Mark and our personal loss. It overwhelms me to see in these quiet moments the waves of grief that come over my mom and dad. I had never thought of the terrible pain a parent goes through when they lose a child - in this case their only son.

In the midst of my own grief, however, I am comforted that Mark is in a wonderful place right now. He is in paradise which I understand to be in the presence of God, verses hell, which is not in the presence of God. Jesus Christ died for everyone Mark simply chose to accept this gift, accept Jesus as his savior. Right now I am truly grateful he did make this choice, otherwise I would be devastated.
My hope to all of you who read this is as the weeks and months pass, that you will continue to keep my parents and especially Sarah and Cora in your thoughts. Please continue to be good friends to Sarah as I’m sure she will feel the pain and loss for a long time after the memorial service is over. Call her. Go for hikes with her, and continue to be the good friends to her that I know many of you are already.

My sincerest thanks,

Alison Metherell